Sorry, but 2016 was pretty good!

• Politics kept EVERY day entertaining all year long, a downpayment on the entertainment which is sure to follow in 2017.
• The Denver Broncos won the Super Bowl. I still admire John Elway after all these years. An American original.
• I got a new dishwasher which actually washes the dishes clean on the first try, and still does.
• Somebody in my household got a full-time job for the first time in 8 YEARS, probably because . . .
• Obama is going bye-bye and it's finally looking safe to hire again on the periphery of the economy where we operate.
• The Chicago Cubs won the World Series. No, really, they did.
• Another person in my household found an interesting and promising career path.
• Lots of family visited, and gramps turned 90.
• And there was a wedding in the family. Imagine that. Now imagine babies. I don't care if they're Chinese.
• We won't have to wake up every day and hear Hillary promise "I won't do that again".
• And Chris Plante of WMAL in DC announced he will be syndicated in 2017. Best talk show out there, if you ask me. And also if you don't ask me. If talking is an art form, what he does is sort of analogous to pointillism, a mostly abandoned technique. A daily dose of smart invective hurled at WaPo and CNN, delivered with biting humor and panache. He subscribes and watches so you don't have to. AND IT'S FREE!
• Happy New Year everybody!

Happiness is Hormel Natural Choice bacon on sale for a Wednesday night pasta carbonara

This dish is very simple, sort of a post-war Italian bacon and eggs according to one theory.

1 pound De Cecco brand angel hair pasta

1 package Hormel bacon made into 1 inch lardons with a scissors

3 large brown eggs whisked in a really big pasta bowl

1 pepper grinder loaded with peppercorns

1/3 cup chopped Italian flat leaf parsley leaves

1 bowl grated Pecorino Romano cheese

Fry the bacon lardons in a deep dutch oven over medium heat, stirring constantly. Don't mess around. Just grab the whole bacon out of the package and start cutting it right into the pot. As it cooks the lardons will get away from you quickly at the end and get too brown if you aren't careful, but I like 'em that way, a little carbonized. Remove from the pot to drain on a paper towel.

Meanwhile bring a pasta pot of salted water to a boil.

Heat your pasta plates in a warm oven.

Whisk the eggs in the pasta bowl.

Chop the parsley.

Drink some wine.

When the water boils, add the pasta and boil about two minutes. Stir with a pasta fork into a ball in the water, then drain well and transfer to the pasta bowl with the whisked eggs while it's still steaming hot. Using two pasta forks stir the pasta and the eggs together thoroughly until the eggs have cooked, about a minute. Basically, the eggs will disappear when using angel hair because of all the surface area absorbing the cooked egg. Larger pasta shapes produce more visible cooked egg clinging to the sides.

Divide the pasta into the serving plates, top or stir in the parsley and bacon in each, and a little olive oil if you like.

Serves three easily. Pass the cheese and the pepper grinder. The pepper is essential, liberally applied. The cheese is optional.

Don't forget the red wine at the table, and a steamed vegetable like broccoli on the side.

Happiness is a Kreutzkamm Christstollen after church on Christmas Eve

For a good time don't call Tim Wilson in his Peterbilt prison

I was a truck-drivin', long-haulin', ladies man

My handle was the cream of the crop

'Til a brewhaha for a 40-D bra brought that to a screeching stop

My wife got wind of one of my girlfriends

whose brassier had the busted seams

And she changed my handle to henpecked

in a man-and-wife driving team

Here's the song.

Why happiness is mowing grass, not blowing snow

With grass you don't wake up one morning and discover it grew 12 inches overnight.

Happiness is Fats Domino singing "Walking to New Orleans"

Here.

Happiness is the Rhumba Girl, Nicolette Larson, Rolling Stone's Female Vocalist of 1978

Sadly taken from us nineteen years ago this month. The amazing performance here dates to August 1977.

Happiness is Commander Cody singing "Daddy's Drinkin' Up Our Christmas"

Here.

Happiness is a 10-year old Honda CR-V all ready to go for another snowy winter in Grand Rapids

Our 2007 EX in Green Tea looks just like this one. It has Michelin X-Ice installed on all four paws, a new battery, an oil change, a wash, recalls on the air-bag inflators completed, and 127,000 miles going on 200,000 God-willing and the creek don't rise.

Oh yeah, and AAA Premier . . . just in case.

Uh oh: It's 100% grated, just not necessarily 100% CHEESE

Would you like some WOOD with that pasta?

From the story here last February, which is about when I started to wonder why I couldn't get my preferred Romano in block form anymore, only grated in bags:

Cellulose is a safe additive, and an acceptable level is 2 percent to 4 percent, according to Dean Sommer, a cheese technologist at the Center for Dairy Research in Madison, Wisconsin. Essential Everyday 100% Grated Parmesan Cheese, from Jewel-Osco, was 8.8 percent cellulose, while Wal-Mart Stores Inc.’s Great Value 100% Grated Parmesan Cheese registered 7.8 percent, according to test results. Whole Foods 365 brand didn’t list cellulose as an ingredient on the label, but still tested at 0.3 percent. Kraft had 3.8 percent. ... According to the FDA’s report on Castle, obtained through the Freedom of Information Act, “no parmesan cheese was used to manufacture” the Market Pantry brand 100% grated Parmesan Cheese, sold at Target Corp. stores, and Always Save Grated Parmesan Cheese and Best Choice 100% Grated Parmesan Cheese, sold by Associated Wholesale Grocers Inc., which along with its subsidiaries supplies 3,400 retail stores in 30 states. Instead, there was a mixture of Swiss, mozzarella, white cheddar and cellulose, according to the FDA.

Don't buy grated, folks. I don't care what the cheese is, just buy the block. It's easier to split than kindling.

Happiness is a 12-lb. Thanksgiving turkey for seven bucks at D&W Fresh Market

Gott sei dank! Thanks be to God!

Ours looked just like this, too, and was done in just three hours at 325 degrees F., because we never stuff our turkey. And was it ever delicious!

At the two hour mark we oiled the skin and baked it another half hour, then covered it with aluminum foil for another half hour.

The neck and gizzard were stewed separately for two hours, from which we made the giblet gravy.

Wunderbar!

The turkey was served with sautéed whole green beans baked for five minutes in the oven topped with french fried onions, and red garnet yams with butter and dark brown sugar.

A meal fit for a king, easily enjoyed by hoi polloi.

Happiness is one of these from Generac when the power goes out like tonight in Michigan

Here we go again: Very smart people become unhappy when socializing with friends

London School of Economics study, discussed here:

The study found that more intelligent people actually had lower life satisfaction the more frequently they socialised with friends - spending time with friends actually made them unhappy. But the researchers discovered that these highly intelligent participants actually spent more time socialising with friends. 

Which is why they are more likely to be mentally ill. The expectation that one socialize creates mental conflict, but because the expectation is perceived to be natural the conflict is multiplied because the intelligent person is fighting against "nature", resulting in illness.

As the old saying goes . . .

Happiness is the real Fats Domino on Twitter

Here.

Forget the expensive rice cooker, make easy peasy rice on the gas stovetop

Rinse 1 cup rice under running water using a fine mesh sieve, and allow to drain (I'm using Basmati from India these days).

Add rice to a 3qt. saucepan with a heavy lid.

Add two cups fresh water, 1/4 tsp. salt and a teaspoon of butter. Stir.

Bring mixture to a boil with the lid off.

Reduce heat to lowest setting, cover and simmer 20 minutes.

Fluff and serve with more butter, or Tamari sauce, or whatever.

Donald Trump's election means someone's finally going to deport my damn Chihuahua

Happiness is . . . Holy Cow! Cubs win! Cubs win! Cubs win!

A daily egg supposedly cuts stroke risk by 12% by reducing inflammation

So says a meta-analysis, which is not at all the same thing as a double-blind study. And, consider the source.

From the story here:

The research, published in the American College of Nutrition journal, was funded by the American Egg Board.

Now THIS is Hilarious: "I think my dog's a Democrat" by Bryan Lewis

Here.

It's not hilarious, it's only mildly amusing

Here.

Sorry, but sometimes it must be pointed out, if only to maintain standards.

Coffee edges closer to superfood status due to discovery of protective effects on eye health

From the story here:

He said participants who drank “high levels” of coffee – 78mg a day, the equivalent of one shot of espresso – were far less likely to suffer vision disease. 

Happiness is the Ukulele Orchestra of Great Britain playing Ennio Morricone's The Good, The Bad and the Ugly theme

Here.

Schadenfreude is learning that a Koch-bro had a wine cellar full of fakes not worth the millions of dollars he paid for them

Drink what you like, just make sure you don't pay too much for it.

From the story here:

Even more tenacious is the billionaire Bill Koch, the brother of Charles and David, who’s discovered that his wine cellar—a chandeliered wonder in his Palm Beach mansion—contains more than four million dollars in fakes. In his efforts to track down Kurniawan, Koch spends many millions of dollars soliciting cork experts, label gurus, former C.I.A. agents, and private investigators. ... The schadenfreude in seeing these entitled rich men get duped is compounded, in “Sour Grapes,” by the obvious pleasure the filmmakers take in exposing the broader illusions in the rarified world of wine. Very old bottles of the sort that Kurniawan faked are so few and far between—and often so inconsistent from one to the next—that few connoisseurs know exactly how they’re meant to taste.

Happiness is watching this guy play Beethoven with semi-automatic pistols

Here.

Happiness is a golf joke, in memory of Arnold Palmer who passed away today at age 87 in Pennsylvania

Jesus and Moses are golfing in heaven one day when they come to a par 3 hole with a very large water hazard surrounding it.

Moses plays it safe and picks a seven iron and lays up in front of the lake so that on his second shot he can easily chip onto the green.

Jesus can hardly believe it and picks a long club to go for the green. "Arnold Palmer would play a 3 wood," he says confidently. Moses disagrees and advises him to do as he has done. But Jesus says, "No, Arnold Palmer would play a 3 wood and go for the green, and so will I."

Jesus' tee shot is beautiful, but unfortunately comes up a little short and lands in the water.

Moses turns to him and says, "I told you so." And with that he walks down the fairway to the lake, parts the water, retrieves the ball, and returns it to Jesus at the tee.

"You'll be using a seven iron now, I imagine," says Moses.

"No", says Jesus. "Arnold Palmer would use the 3 wood and so will I".

Same as before, Jesus puts it in the water.

Disgusted, Moses starts down the fairway to retrieve the ball again, but Jesus stops him and says he'll do it himself.

Meanwhile play has advanced and a foursome freshly arrived in heaven comes up from behind ready to play the same hole. While Moses is apologizing for the delay, one of their party observes Jesus in the distance walking across the water and reaching in to retrieve his ball!

The guy can hardly believe his eyes and says to Moses, "Who does that guy think he is, Jesus Christ?"

And Moses turns, gives him that knowing look and says, "No, he thinks he's Arnold Palmer".  

80g of regular full-fat cheese daily linked to higher HDL cholesterol levels

That's not quite three ounces.

Reported here.

It's National Burger Day today, but we made stir-fry by mistake dontcha know

We use a Cantonese style wok with a lower base ring on a gas stove without difficulty

We grill burgers on Sunday evenings like clockwork, but not today!

And to think it was the National Day to celebrate our custom. Oops.

We made stir-fry in the wok because we had accumulated leftovers from . . . the grill!

But not beef! Pork and chicken, mostly.

Here's the basic ingredient list for our stovetop stir fry (you can get by without the celery if you have 1/4 tsp. celery seed):

2 cups leftover cooked meat, like pork and chicken, diced small without the skin or fat

1 cup fresh mushrooms, about 4 oz., diced and then sautéed in butter or oil

3/4 cup diced carrot, about 2

2/3 cup diced onion

1 green onion chopped

2/3 cup diced sweet bell pepper, orange or red

1 cup diced celery stalk, about 2

1 cup sweet baby peas or pea pods

1 can drained bamboo shoots

1 can drained sliced water chestnuts

2 cloves garlic chopped

1 tsp. grated fresh ginger root

3 slices bacon already cooked, chopped

1 cup prepared Jasmine rice in a pan, left covered off the heat (1 cup rice, 2 cups water, a little salt, brought to a boil in a heavy covered pan and then simmered on low for 20 minutes--easy peasy)

1/2 to 1 tsp. sugar

ground black pepper

San-Jay Tamari sauce

2-3 tablespoons Sesame or Canola oil

Here's the cooking order:

Heat oil in the wok OVER MEDIUM

Add carrots and stir

Add celery and stir

Add onion and stir

Add mushrooms and stir

Add garlic and stir

Add sweet pepper and stir

Add black pepper and stir

Add meats and stir

Add fresh peas or pea pods and stir,

And bamboo shoots and water chestnuts and stir,

and cover and steam 3 minutes ON MEDIUM LOW.

Then add ginger and more black pepper

Add 1/4 cup Tamari sauce and the sugar in a pool in the bottom, mix together and stir everything

Add the cooked rice and stir until well blended

Add more Tamari sauce as desired (but you want to keep the mixture on the dry side)

Stir in cooked bacon and green onion

Turn off and cover and prepare to serve immediately 

Happiness is (if you're a Kraut like me) Joerg Sprave and his most dangerous toy in the world

Video here at The Slingshot Channel, where Joerg kills a "dirtbag". Ha Ha Ha Ha.

Happiness is 2007 Heisman Trophy winner Tim Tebow signing on with the New York METS' minor league team

Congratulations and best wishes to Tim Tebow!

From the story here:

NEW YORK (FOX5NY) - The New York Mets have signed former Heisman Trophy winner Tim Tebow to a minor league contract.  The team says he will head to the Instructional League in Florida.  He is set to report on Sept. 18th.

Tebow will get a $100,000 signing bonus according to a report by the Associated Press.

The Greeks taught us "nothing too much": Especially true when ingesting Scoville units

"British chef went temporarily DEAF after eating the world's hottest noodles" says the headline at the UK Mirror.

"Ben Sumadiwiria, 22, from London, scoffed a dish with 100 bird's eye chilis crushed together, giving it a Scoville rating of 20 million".

A single Jalapeno pepper ranges from 1,000 to 20,000 Scoville units compared with the bird's eye chili at 200,000.

Happiness is Bonne Maman Strawberry Preserves ... in the big mother 26 oz. jar!

Available at Sam's Club for $5.98!

Whoa!

Happiness is the Devil's chicken for dinner, with fennel parmesan and sweet baby peas

For the Pollo alla Diavola and the Finocchio alla Parmigiano see Michele Scicolone's 1,000 Italian Recipes.

The Devil's Dictionary definition of happiness

Ambrose Bierce

HAPPINESS, n. An agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another.

Hi how-are-ya, Hi how-are-ya, Hi how-are-ya

Happiness is Hank Williams Jr. singing his 1985 hit "I'm For Love"

Here.

"Hey, I'm for love

I'm all for happiness

And I'm for 'Not looking for something to make us mad'

I'm all for turning off the news and turning down the lights

And I'm for nothing else but me and you tonight"

Obama's Soup

Mmm Mmm no good

Mmm Mmm no good

That's what Obama's Soup is

Mmm Mmm no good

Samuel Johnson insisted "Taxation no tyranny", now Italians claim pasta not fattening

From the story here:

Researchers in Italy studied over 23,000 people in Italy and found that higher pasta intake was not associated with a raised body mass index (BMI) – widely used as a measurement of a person's body fat, based on a person's height and weight – and waist-to-hip ratio.

Happiness is Michael Cimino saying "And I think the more you work, the better you are"

"I mean, when you think of the fact that Victor Fleming ... Victor Fleming made Gone With the Wind and The Wizard of Oz in the same year. Now today, between them it would take 30 years. It's ridiculous."

Michael Cimino, the Academy Award winning director of The Deer Hunter has passed away at the age of 77.

His tender tribute to Clint Eastwood who gave him the start in the business ("The Boss"/"I think Clint should be president") and John Wayne last year is here ( "I think both of them are very special. Two legends, two American legends, my God.").

May he rest in peace.

People appear to be most happy to stay home and watch TV

From the annual American Time Use survey, here:

On an average day, nearly everyone age 15 and over (96 percent) engaged in some sort of leisure activity such as watching TV, socializing, or exercising. ... Watching TV was the leisure activity that occupied the most time (2.8 hours per day), accounting for more than half of leisure time, on average, for those age 15 and over. Socializing, such as visiting with friends or attending or hosting social events, was the next most common leisure activity, accounting for 41 minutes per day.

Happiness is quitting smoking: All it took was about three weeks in August twenty years ago, and one of these

Happiness is "Tom Cat" by The Rooftop Singers from May 1963

See them perform, here.

Fixed it. Go here instead.

Happiness is Jennie-O Hot Italian Turkey Sausage on pasta night

You get five fresh sausages for $4.49, about $.90 apiece.

Sear quickly in a hot skillet to brown, but then simmer on low to retain the juices and spices.

When a superfoods breakfast is hard to arrange because you're in a hurry, try simple toast

Whole grain toast, slathered in raw honey, topped with ground cinnamon.

Three superfoods just like that.

The toast is loaded with fiber, the honey with antioxidants, and the cinnamon lowers glucose, triglyceride and cholesterol levels.

Happiness: My son said he totally won the Dad Lottery

So did I.

Happiness is learning how the Hekawi Indians got their name

Here!

"I think we're lost. Where the heck are we?"

Update:

New link here.

On a hot day way up north happiness is economical central air conditioning by American Standard

The 11 additional superfoods taking you to 25 forms of happiness

honey

garlic

extra virgin olive oil

apples

avocados

cinnamon

dark chocolate

dried fruits, such as figs, or apricots, dates, plums and cranberries ad infinitum

kiwifruit

onions

pomegranate