Happiness is Jack Schitt's profile at LinkedIn

 

Happiness is Dave Coverly's Achilles' heels

Happiness is Indian restaurant humor

The first men on the moon were beaten there by a woman

Happiness is Jamarkus Jontiquil McKrackerberry III

"JJ" for short.

Or whatever.

Here.

"For my next flip-flop, get a load of this!"

Frau Merkel und Hans Merkel?

Don't think about it . . . ever.

Ya, or you might cause a flabulance.

Mein Damp, Schatzie

Donald Trump's election means someone's finally going to deport my damn Chihuahua

Now THIS is Hilarious: "I think my dog's a Democrat" by Bryan Lewis

Here.

It's not hilarious, it's only mildly amusing

Here.

Sorry, but sometimes it must be pointed out, if only to maintain standards.

Happiness is a golf joke, in memory of Arnold Palmer who passed away today at age 87 in Pennsylvania

Jesus and Moses are golfing in heaven one day when they come to a par 3 hole with a very large water hazard surrounding it.

Moses plays it safe and picks a seven iron and lays up in front of the lake so that on his second shot he can easily chip onto the green.

Jesus can hardly believe it and picks a long club to go for the green. "Arnold Palmer would play a 3 wood," he says confidently. Moses disagrees and advises him to do as he has done. But Jesus says, "No, Arnold Palmer would play a 3 wood and go for the green, and so will I."

Jesus' tee shot is beautiful, but unfortunately comes up a little short and lands in the water.

Moses turns to him and says, "I told you so." And with that he walks down the fairway to the lake, parts the water, retrieves the ball, and returns it to Jesus at the tee.

"You'll be using a seven iron now, I imagine," says Moses.

"No", says Jesus. "Arnold Palmer would use the 3 wood and so will I".

Same as before, Jesus puts it in the water.

Disgusted, Moses starts down the fairway to retrieve the ball again, but Jesus stops him and says he'll do it himself.

Meanwhile play has advanced and a foursome freshly arrived in heaven comes up from behind ready to play the same hole. While Moses is apologizing for the delay, one of their party observes Jesus in the distance walking across the water and reaching in to retrieve his ball!

The guy can hardly believe his eyes and says to Moses, "Who does that guy think he is, Jesus Christ?"

And Moses turns, gives him that knowing look and says, "No, he thinks he's Arnold Palmer".  

Happiness is an old Conway Twitty joke

Why wouldn't Kitty Carlisle marry Conway Twitty?

Because in the end she didn't want to be known as Kitty Twitty.

Why you should laugh everyday

If you don't have funny you don't have money, because laughter is the currency of life.

What's The Difference Between A Norwegian Introvert And A Norwegian Extrovert?

 

 

When a Norwegian introvert talks to you, he stares at his shoes.

When a Norwegian extrovert talks to you, he stares at your shoes.

h/t Tim

(image source)

The Joke of the Day: I Quit Drinking!

Wine.












This morning.