Happiness is a tender Italian turkey meatball "shell" during the pandemic

Ingredients:

2 lbs ground turkey

1/2 c milk

1 egg

3/4 c Panko bread crumbs

Seasoning:

1 t salt

1/2 t granulated garlic

1/2 t dried thyme leaves

1/2 t dried oregano leaves

1/2 t whole black peppercorns, or 1/4 t ground

1 t fennel seeds

1 t crushed red pepper flakes

1 T sweet Hungarian paprika

Method:

1) Whisk together the egg and the milk in a large mixing bowl

2) Grind the seasonings in a coffee grinder until fine-ish

3) Whisk the seasonings into the egg/milk mixture

4) Add the meat to the bowl and mix together using a fork or a potato masher

5) Add the bread crumbs and mix together

6) Form "meatball shells" using a fork and a nonstick ice cream scoop, which releases them easily 

7) Heat a heavy skillet over medium heat and add enough canola oil to cover the bottom

8) Fry "shells" in batches about twelve minutes in the oil, flat side first, flipping them half way through

9) Serve with pasta "Orecchiette" if you can find them, for fun, and your favorite sauce

The Swedish Chef Weighs In On The Ikea Meatball Flap

"So, de beency bouncy burger is a horsey, eh?"

Swedish Meatballs At Ikea Found To Contain Horse Meat, Chef Issues Statement

According to the Borkified story from The Associated Press, here:

"Swedish foornitoore-a gioont Ikea wes droon into Ioorope-a's widening food lebeling scoondel Mondey is uoothorities seid zeey hed detected horse-a meet in frozee-a meetbells lebeled is beeff und pork und sold in 13 cooontries icross zee-a continent. Bork Bork Bork!"

The Swedish Chef was unavailable for comment but said through a spokesman:

"Whee-a I meke-a Swedish meetbells, I ilweys teke-a cere-a to idd a little-a ixtra horsemeet to zee-a mixtoore-a oon speciel ooccesions like-a zee-a Kentoocky Derby. Bork Bork Bork! Meetbells wit 25% horse-a meet reelly get iferyone-a in zee-a proper mood for zee-a rece-a, und iferyone-a who hes tried zeem lofes zeem so mooch zeey ilweys isk zee-a next yeer for my Swedish Qooerter Horse-a Meetbells by neme-a! Horse Horse Horse!"

(video here)

Quarter-Horse Burgers: 25% Less Beef Than Our Regular Brand!

"The sample of one brand . . . was more than a quarter horse", says the story here:

The scandal began in Ireland in mid-January when the country . . . announced the results of its first-ever DNA tests on beef products. It tested frozen beef burgers taken from store shelves and found that more than a third of brands at five supermarkets contained at least a trace of horse. The sample of one brand sold by British supermarket kingpin Tesco was more than a quarter horse.