Happiness is Gussie Fink-Nottle telling off Madeline with "I shall now eat a ham sandwich"

 

Happiness is mercy

 

 The quality of mercy is not strain'd;

It droppeth as the gentle rain of heaven

Upon the place beneath. It is twice bless'd;

It blesses him that gives, and him that takes.

-- William Shakespeare, The Merchant of Venice, Act IV, Scene I

Happiness is three synonyms for a simpleton

 Have you no more manners than to rail at Hocus, that has saved that clod-pated, numskull'd, ninny-hammer of yours from ruin, and all his family?

-- John Arbuthnot, History of John Bull, (1667-1735)

Happiness is knowing how to tell the age of sheep

 When sheep is one shear,

they will have two broad teeth before;

when two shear, four;

when three, six; when four, eight:

and, after that, their mouths break.

 

-- John Mortimer (c.1656-1736)