Tick season comes early to Ontario, Canada

 

Ex-McDonald's employee opens car dealership on Pennsylvania Avenue

 

The new Trump Sandwich, now popular in Canada

 

Happiness is a succinct visualization of the enduring attraction of liberalism

 A liberal suddenly becomes a conservative after getting mugged on the street. Why is there no law and order, he wonders. We need to hire more cops.

But the mugged conservative gets arrested for his own mugging by mistake, and becomes a libertarian in self defense, wondering how the law could be so incompetent as to deprive the victim of his freedom!

Then, however, the arrested libertarian loses his job because his employer finds out about the arrest, and so he becomes a liberal again because of his boss' ignorant prejudice.

But wait, there's more!

At this point the liberal hits on a novel solution. I'll start my own business, he says, that'll show 'em! I'll be the master of my own destiny!

But once faced with all the insane regulations and restraints on his business activities, the liberal, longing to be free of them, becomes a libertarian again.

He's very successful despite all the problems, and eventually marries and has a bunch of kids, who promptly turn him into a conservative again because he wants children who will behave themselves.

Unfortunately they don't, getting into one scrape after another. The medical bills start rolling in and the conservative realizes he needs help paying them or he's not going to turn a profit!

He decides to ask the government to help him with all of those bills. It's unfair, he tells himself, when he has to pay them all by himself when he pays more in taxes than most people do, at which point the conservative has become a liberal again.

 

Happiness is Roberta Flack, may she rest in peace

 “I always say that ‘love is a song’ — meaning that music reaches beyond age, race, nationality and religion to touch our hearts”.

Quoted here. 

Elon Musk: "Just put wheels on it and call it good" lololol

 

And I woke up humming this for some reason today

 Happy landings on a chocolate bar!

(don't let the sickos in the comments ruin it for you)

 

I keep hoping February will turn funny at some point, but so far I've got nothing

 

Fats Domino wanted to hold your hand long before the Beatles did: In July 1959

 

By the time I finished this story I was yawning and ready for a nap

 

 The people who only need five hours’ sleep: Why a rare genetic mutation could be the key to boosting productivity and living longer  

 

By the way, that should be "need only five" not "only need five". 

 

English. The English should try it!

Happiness is how now you see it

 

Christmas is finally over

 

There is an odd similarity between 5 minutes in football and 5 minutes to get ready for a date

 

"Stitch by stitch" by Jesse Welles is the best thing I've heard in a long while

 

 baby come quick i poured us two fresh doses it occurred to me yesterday evenin this could jus be yer psychosis drownin me drownin you baby what's a soul sailor to do you were always a poet you jus didn't know it the whole worlds a boat i'm gonna row it plant yer cool seed watchin it grow and believe in me cus i need ya to know it life has a line i'm gonna toe it the truth is a horn we all gotta blow it there's a river of joy I'm gonna float it there's a hole in my soul i'm gonna sew it baby stitch by stitch

 moses come quick i found another tablet god don't teach he jus stays out of reach and gets annoyed when i try to grab em drownin me drownin you Moses what's a soul sailor to do you were always a poet you jus didn't know it the whole worlds a boat i'm gonna row it plant yer cool seed watchin it grow and believe in me cus i need ya to know it life has a line i'm gonna toe it the truth is a horn we all gotta blow it there's a river of joy I'm gonna float it there's a hole in my soul i'm gonna sew it Moses stitch by stitch

 ahab come quick I got a funny notion it's a hell of a whale but I wish this fish would jus stay down in the ocean cause it's drownin me drownin you captain what's a soul sailor to do you were always a poet you jus didn't know it the whole worlds a boat i'm gonna row it plant yer cool seed watchin it grow and believe in me cus i need ya to know it life has a line i'm gonna toe it the truth is a horn we all gotta blow it there's a river of joy I'm gonna float it there's a hole in my soul i'm gonna sew it baby stitch by stitch

I made this salmon with spinach creme sauce for Christmas Eve and it was a big hit

 Also very easy to make. I will do it again.

I made substitutions because I didn't have the exact ingredients: my own tomato sauce for the cherry tomatoes which made the outcome redder, half & half instead of heavy cream, and since the tomato sauce was made with basil I omitted the chopped parsley.

The recipe is very adaptable.

 

Happiness is Chinese carry-out on Christmas

Happiness is not needing to travel anymore because . . .

 

 Catalina, see what I meana

Dodge City, what a pity

The president-elect explains the mysterious night-time drone citings over New Jersey

 Chris Christie is just hungry all the time, that's all.

🤣🤣🤣

 

 

When LGBT doesn't mean what you think it means

 

My natural gas appliance's private life is none of your business