Happiness is a cauldron of fat beef

 

 A caldron of fat beef, and stoop of ale,

On the huzzaing mob shall more prevail,

Than if you give them, with the nicest art,

Ragousts of peacocks brains, or filbert tart.

 

-- William King, The Art of Cookery (London, 1708),  p. 107

 

Happiness is 1965's Hang on Sloopy by The McCoys with Rick Derringer

The true identity of the “Sloopy Girl” dancer was revealed in September 2021.

 

That would be clearance, Clarence

 

Happiness is Hodge, Samuel Johnson's cat

 

Who, by his master when caressed,

warmly his gratitude expressed,

and never failed his thanks to purr,

whene'er he stroked his sable furr.

-- Percival Stockdale, 1778

The comedy of maternal love is that its seismic intensity is expressed, most of the time, in totally mundane drudgery

 Elizabeth Bruenig for The Atlantic, here:

... My mother used to pick me up from day care in paisley dresses or broomstick skirts with slouchy boots, hair hot-rolled and blown out, with the lived-in scent of faded perfume: full glam for an eight-hour workday with a 45-minute commute on either end and then a second shift at home, cooking any number of demanding meals—fried chicken, smothered pork chops, breakfast for dinner with biscuits and gravy—and then helping me and my brother with our homework and loading up the dishwasher, all before she took her makeup off. I used to sit beside her and talk with her while she took her evening bath, watching while she rinsed her mascara off and finally breathed. ...

Happiness is Edelweiss 1965

 

 

Decades worth of research concludes that happiness is the good mood you get from social interaction

How Nearly a Century of Happiness Research Led to One Big Finding: Decades of wellness studies have identified a formula for happiness, but you won’t figure it out alone

Which is fine if you're an extrovert.

But in former times happiness at its root was simply thought of as good fortune, or as escaping misfortune and accidents, which seems to me a more inclusive definition.

25% of a given population, after all, is composed of introverts, who feel drained by social interaction, not enriched. But they are just as happy to have escaped being hit by a car as any one else.

The field of psychology still seems biased toward the extroverts. 

 

 

 

Benny Hill's parody of Mick Jagger and The Rolling Stones may be the greatest rock send-up of all time

 

Happiness is Apache by The Shadows, one of the best-selling singles of the 1960s

 

Happiness is Benny Bell's McCarthy and McGinnis

 

McCarthy is dead, McGinnis don't know it McGinnis is dead, McCarthy don't know it They both lay dead on the very same bed But neither one knows that the other is dead.

Before he died, this fellow McCarthy One Saturday night got drunk at a party He took a swing at Officer King The next day he carried his head in a sling.

McCarthy was always good to his wife He had to be so, or I pity his life Although she was only half his size She'd jump on a table and scratch out his eyes.

On Saint Patrick's Day he was there A shine on his shoes and oil on his hair He wore a green jacket and really looked swell With a genuine shamrock in his lapel.

One day he was taking his wife to a dance A dog took a chance and snapped at his pants McCarthy got angry and started to sneer Then lifted the mongrel and bit off its ear.

He drank like a fish, he ate like a savage His favourite dish was corned beef and cabbage He fought like a tiger, he hit like a mule And boy could he knock off a good game of pool.

McCarthy and Mister McGinnis next door Could never agree, they were always at war Said he to McGinnis, "The day when you die I'll buy everybody a strawberry pie."

Said Mister McGinnis to Mister McCarthy "You may be tough, and healthy and hearty But if you don't shut up and behave You'll soon be asleep in a seven foot grave."

One stormy night, they met in the hall To settle their argument once and for all Now one used a shovel and one used a rock And both were in heaven at seven o'clock.

So McCarthy is dead but McGinnis don't know it McGinnis is dead and McCarthy don't know it They both lay dead on the very same bed But neither one knows that the other is dead.

Trump tariffs make even middling Italian-sourced extra virgin olive oil out of reach for average Americans

 I ran out of this olive oil a few weeks ago. I had shepherded my three liter can over the winter to make it last. I paid $40 for it, now it's $55.

Fuhgeddaboutit.

 

 

You'd shriek too if it happened to you

 

 

 

Tick season comes early to Ontario, Canada

 

Ex-McDonald's employee opens car dealership on Pennsylvania Avenue

 

The new Trump Sandwich, now popular in Canada

 

Happiness is a succinct visualization of the enduring attraction of liberalism

 A liberal suddenly becomes a conservative after getting mugged on the street. Why is there no law and order, he wonders. We need to hire more cops.

But the mugged conservative gets arrested for his own mugging by mistake, and becomes a libertarian in self defense, wondering how the law could be so incompetent as to deprive the victim of his freedom!

Then, however, the arrested libertarian loses his job because his employer finds out about the arrest, and so he becomes a liberal again because of his boss' ignorant prejudice.

But wait, there's more!

At this point the liberal hits on a novel solution. I'll start my own business, he says, that'll show 'em! I'll be the master of my own destiny!

But once faced with all the insane regulations and restraints on his business activities, the liberal, longing to be free of them, becomes a libertarian again.

He's very successful despite all the problems, and eventually marries and has a bunch of kids, who promptly turn him into a conservative again because he wants children who will behave themselves.

Unfortunately they don't, getting into one scrape after another. The medical bills start rolling in and the conservative realizes he needs help paying them or he's not going to turn a profit!

He decides to ask the government to help him with all of those bills. It's unfair, he tells himself, when he has to pay them all by himself when he pays more in taxes than most people do, at which point the conservative has become a liberal again.

 

Happiness is Roberta Flack, may she rest in peace

 “I always say that ‘love is a song’ — meaning that music reaches beyond age, race, nationality and religion to touch our hearts”.

Quoted here. 

Elon Musk: "Just put wheels on it and call it good" lololol

 

And I woke up humming this for some reason today

 Happy landings on a chocolate bar!

(don't let the sickos in the comments ruin it for you)

 

I keep hoping February will turn funny at some point, but so far I've got nothing

 

Fats Domino wanted to hold your hand long before the Beatles did: In July 1959

 

By the time I finished this story I was yawning and ready for a nap

 

 The people who only need five hours’ sleep: Why a rare genetic mutation could be the key to boosting productivity and living longer  

 

By the way, that should be "need only five" not "only need five". 

 

English. The English should try it!

Happiness is how now you see it

 

Christmas is finally over

 

There is an odd similarity between 5 minutes in football and 5 minutes to get ready for a date

 

"Stitch by stitch" by Jesse Welles is the best thing I've heard in a long while

 

 baby come quick i poured us two fresh doses it occurred to me yesterday evenin this could jus be yer psychosis drownin me drownin you baby what's a soul sailor to do you were always a poet you jus didn't know it the whole worlds a boat i'm gonna row it plant yer cool seed watchin it grow and believe in me cus i need ya to know it life has a line i'm gonna toe it the truth is a horn we all gotta blow it there's a river of joy I'm gonna float it there's a hole in my soul i'm gonna sew it baby stitch by stitch

 moses come quick i found another tablet god don't teach he jus stays out of reach and gets annoyed when i try to grab em drownin me drownin you Moses what's a soul sailor to do you were always a poet you jus didn't know it the whole worlds a boat i'm gonna row it plant yer cool seed watchin it grow and believe in me cus i need ya to know it life has a line i'm gonna toe it the truth is a horn we all gotta blow it there's a river of joy I'm gonna float it there's a hole in my soul i'm gonna sew it Moses stitch by stitch

 ahab come quick I got a funny notion it's a hell of a whale but I wish this fish would jus stay down in the ocean cause it's drownin me drownin you captain what's a soul sailor to do you were always a poet you jus didn't know it the whole worlds a boat i'm gonna row it plant yer cool seed watchin it grow and believe in me cus i need ya to know it life has a line i'm gonna toe it the truth is a horn we all gotta blow it there's a river of joy I'm gonna float it there's a hole in my soul i'm gonna sew it baby stitch by stitch

I made this salmon with spinach creme sauce for Christmas Eve and it was a big hit

 Also very easy to make. I will do it again.

I made substitutions because I didn't have the exact ingredients: my own tomato sauce for the cherry tomatoes which made the outcome redder, half & half instead of heavy cream, and since the tomato sauce was made with basil I omitted the chopped parsley.

The recipe is very adaptable.

 

Happiness is Chinese carry-out on Christmas

Happiness is not needing to travel anymore because . . .

 

 Catalina, see what I meana

Dodge City, what a pity

The president-elect explains the mysterious night-time drone citings over New Jersey

 Chris Christie is just hungry all the time, that's all.

🤣🤣🤣

 

 

When LGBT doesn't mean what you think it means

 

My natural gas appliance's private life is none of your business

 

Uncle Si's "Cliff Bowyer" still cracks me up

 

The older I sit here the drunker I get

 

Happiness is the Wonderland Bear Band

 

Happiness is poaching an egg in a mug

 

Olive oil prices expected to nearly halve in coming months as drought ends in southern Europe

The Deoleo brands

 

Extra virgin olive oil prices in Spain’s Andalusia stood at 6 euros ($6.33) per kilogram as of Nov. 6, according to Expana, an agricultural and food-focused market intelligence firm. That’s down around 19% on a monthly basis and nearly 35% off a record high of 9.2 euros in January.

Spain accounts for more than 40% of the world’s olive oil production, making it a global reference for prices. ...

Deoleo said olive oil prices should fall to around 5 euros per liter, a steep drop from highs of 9 to 10 euros, which had become the norm in Spanish supermarkets this year. ...

Kyle Holland, senior market reporter for oilseeds and oils at Expana, said most industry players were “very, very bearish” regarding the price outlook.

“The production numbers are key. For Spain, we’re looking at probably 1.3 million metric tons, compared to last season’s 670,000 to 680,000 metric tons, depending on who you speak to, so not far from double basically.”

More.

The season's trending gift is the women's heated vest with three temperature levels

 

 ✔  cold titty

✔  warm titty

✔  hot titty

Olive oil prices have surged, so I switched again

I paid $40 for 3 liters from De Cecco. 

That's $13.33 a liter.

The origin codes for the oil in this particular can are ES (Spain) and GR (Greece).

The oil is good to April 2025.

I'm content with it.

In England and France, the equivalent of Indian Summer roughly spans Oct 18, St. Luke's Day, to Nov 11, St. Martin of Tours' Day, the middle of which is Allhallowtide

 

 Farewell, thou latter spring! farewell,

All-hallown summer.

-- William Shakespeare, Henry IV

Happiness is washing your bath towels twice

 

 

 One time in baking soda, a second time in white vinegar.

One cup, warm water setting, right in the top-loader with the load. I do a pre-soak and an extra-rinse each time as well.

Works especially well on my white and light color towels instead of detergent in my experience.

At current prices at Sam's Club the cost is about 52-cents for the two loads, about 33-cents for a cup of baking soda for the first load, and 19-cents for a cup of vinegar for the second load.

That's more expensive than using, for example, ALL Free and Clear and CLOROX 2, which are about 13-cents and 21-cents in just one load, respectively, or 34-cents total. And water is money, too, unless you have a well like me.

But I like the results better.

Disclaimers say check to see if your machine is compatible with vinegar.

A Happy Meal heals all wounds

 

Happiness is the rescue dog who rescued the boy who rescued him

 

Happiness is fair weather for the harvest

 If weather be faire and tidie, thy grain

Make speedilie carriage, for fear of a raine.

-- Thomas Tusser

Happiness is an old British confection

 Let sugar, wine, and cream together club,

To make that gentle viand, syllabub.

 

-- William King (1663-1712)

Happiness is an old hat

 The owl, the raven, and the bat,

Clubb'd for a feather to his hat.

 

-- Jonathan Swift

Happiness is Rayne Beau, the chipped cat who somehow traveled 800 miles from Yellowstone to California where he was rescued and reunited with his owners

 Meow Meow Meow Meow.

Story.

Happiness is Lou Costello, 1906-1959: I'm a baaad boy

 

Happiness is that kind of September when life is slow and oh so mellow

 

Happiness is dropping recycling guilt-free

 

Happiness is Big Mike, the genius who has solved every sailor's worst problem known as the doldrums

Happiness was professional golfer Chi Chi Rodriguez, aka Chy Chy ROD-ri-gueeze, who passed away this week at 88

 

Happiness is Caturday

 

Why do country people lock their car doors at church at this time of year but not in town?

 

 

 

Because their cars will be full of zucchinis if they don't.

Happiness is opening day of zucchini season

 

Happiness is Ronald Reagan's diary, March 31, 1981

 

Happiness is learning what makes your fireworks so colorful . . . lol

 

Happiness is a country house

 Would I a house for happiness erect,

Nature alone should be the architect;

She'd build it more convenient than great,

And doubtless in the country chuse her seat.

-- Abraham Cowley (1618-1667)

Sometimes happiness just creeps up on you, knocks you on the floor, and you just laugh out loud and roll and roll and roll

 

Happiness is Where've You Been?, Kathy Mattea, 1990

 

Happiness is Michael Martin Murphey, Whoopee Ti-Yi-Yo, 1990

 

Happiness is the temperate feast of life

 Calmly he look'd on either life, and here

Saw nothing to regret, and there to fear;

From nature's temp'rate feast rose satisfy'd,

Thank'd heav'n that he had liv'd, and that he dy'd.

 

-- Alexander Pope

Happiness is a lazy man's raised-bed-garden planter

 

To the aliens we're basically West Garfield Park in Chicago

 

Memorial Day 2024: Lee Brice, I Drive Your Truck, 2012

 

Happiness is the voice of Steve Perry of Journey in 1979's Lovin', Touchin', Squeezin'

 

Happiness is global warming

 

 

 The Thames frozen twice in one year, so as men to walk on it, is a very signal accident.

-- Jonathan Swift (1667–1745)

Happiness is Sunday morning baking two dozen triple wheat muffins

 OK I ate two.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Triple Wheat Muffins

1.5 cups wheat germ

1.5 cups all purpose wheat flour

3.0 cups wheat bran

1 T baking powder

1 t baking soda

1 t ground cinnamon

 

2.5 cups milk

2/3 cup brown sugar

2 eggs beaten

1 cup apple sauce

 

Pre-heat oven to 400 degrees F.

Mix dry ingredients in one bowl, wet in another.

Whisk dry into wet gradually.

Add 24 baking papers to tins.

Use a 1/3 cup measure to scoop batter into the liners.

Bake about 20-22 minutes.

Cool in the pans on the counter for 20 minutes.

Serve with butter and jam. And coffee. 

Happiness is Sebn-Up

 

Happiness is taking one day at a time

 

  Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof. 

-- Matthew 6:34