Now THIS is Hilarious: "I think my dog's a Democrat" by Bryan Lewis

Here.

It's not hilarious, it's only mildly amusing

Here.

Sorry, but sometimes it must be pointed out, if only to maintain standards.

Coffee edges closer to superfood status due to discovery of protective effects on eye health

From the story here:

He said participants who drank “high levels” of coffee – 78mg a day, the equivalent of one shot of espresso – were far less likely to suffer vision disease. 

Happiness is the Ukulele Orchestra of Great Britain playing Ennio Morricone's The Good, The Bad and the Ugly theme

Here.

Schadenfreude is learning that a Koch-bro had a wine cellar full of fakes not worth the millions of dollars he paid for them

Drink what you like, just make sure you don't pay too much for it.

From the story here:

Even more tenacious is the billionaire Bill Koch, the brother of Charles and David, who’s discovered that his wine cellar—a chandeliered wonder in his Palm Beach mansion—contains more than four million dollars in fakes. In his efforts to track down Kurniawan, Koch spends many millions of dollars soliciting cork experts, label gurus, former C.I.A. agents, and private investigators. ... The schadenfreude in seeing these entitled rich men get duped is compounded, in “Sour Grapes,” by the obvious pleasure the filmmakers take in exposing the broader illusions in the rarified world of wine. Very old bottles of the sort that Kurniawan faked are so few and far between—and often so inconsistent from one to the next—that few connoisseurs know exactly how they’re meant to taste.

Happiness is watching this guy play Beethoven with semi-automatic pistols

Here.

Happiness is a golf joke, in memory of Arnold Palmer who passed away today at age 87 in Pennsylvania

Jesus and Moses are golfing in heaven one day when they come to a par 3 hole with a very large water hazard surrounding it.

Moses plays it safe and picks a seven iron and lays up in front of the lake so that on his second shot he can easily chip onto the green.

Jesus can hardly believe it and picks a long club to go for the green. "Arnold Palmer would play a 3 wood," he says confidently. Moses disagrees and advises him to do as he has done. But Jesus says, "No, Arnold Palmer would play a 3 wood and go for the green, and so will I."

Jesus' tee shot is beautiful, but unfortunately comes up a little short and lands in the water.

Moses turns to him and says, "I told you so." And with that he walks down the fairway to the lake, parts the water, retrieves the ball, and returns it to Jesus at the tee.

"You'll be using a seven iron now, I imagine," says Moses.

"No", says Jesus. "Arnold Palmer would use the 3 wood and so will I".

Same as before, Jesus puts it in the water.

Disgusted, Moses starts down the fairway to retrieve the ball again, but Jesus stops him and says he'll do it himself.

Meanwhile play has advanced and a foursome freshly arrived in heaven comes up from behind ready to play the same hole. While Moses is apologizing for the delay, one of their party observes Jesus in the distance walking across the water and reaching in to retrieve his ball!

The guy can hardly believe his eyes and says to Moses, "Who does that guy think he is, Jesus Christ?"

And Moses turns, gives him that knowing look and says, "No, he thinks he's Arnold Palmer".  

80g of regular full-fat cheese daily linked to higher HDL cholesterol levels

That's not quite three ounces.

Reported here.

It's National Burger Day today, but we made stir-fry by mistake dontcha know

We use a Cantonese style wok with a lower base ring on a gas stove without difficulty

We grill burgers on Sunday evenings like clockwork, but not today!

And to think it was the National Day to celebrate our custom. Oops.

We made stir-fry in the wok because we had accumulated leftovers from . . . the grill!

But not beef! Pork and chicken, mostly.

Here's the basic ingredient list for our stovetop stir fry (you can get by without the celery if you have 1/4 tsp. celery seed):

2 cups leftover cooked meat, like pork and chicken, diced small without the skin or fat

1 cup fresh mushrooms, about 4 oz., diced and then sautéed in butter or oil

3/4 cup diced carrot, about 2

2/3 cup diced onion

1 green onion chopped

2/3 cup diced sweet bell pepper, orange or red

1 cup diced celery stalk, about 2

1 cup sweet baby peas or pea pods

1 can drained bamboo shoots

1 can drained sliced water chestnuts

2 cloves garlic chopped

1 tsp. grated fresh ginger root

3 slices bacon already cooked, chopped

1 cup prepared Jasmine rice in a pan, left covered off the heat (1 cup rice, 2 cups water, a little salt, brought to a boil in a heavy covered pan and then simmered on low for 20 minutes--easy peasy)

1/2 to 1 tsp. sugar

ground black pepper

San-Jay Tamari sauce

2-3 tablespoons Sesame or Canola oil

Here's the cooking order:

Heat oil in the wok OVER MEDIUM

Add carrots and stir

Add celery and stir

Add onion and stir

Add mushrooms and stir

Add garlic and stir

Add sweet pepper and stir

Add black pepper and stir

Add meats and stir

Add fresh peas or pea pods and stir,

And bamboo shoots and water chestnuts and stir,

and cover and steam 3 minutes ON MEDIUM LOW.

Then add ginger and more black pepper

Add 1/4 cup Tamari sauce and the sugar in a pool in the bottom, mix together and stir everything

Add the cooked rice and stir until well blended

Add more Tamari sauce as desired (but you want to keep the mixture on the dry side)

Stir in cooked bacon and green onion

Turn off and cover and prepare to serve immediately 

Happiness is (if you're a Kraut like me) Joerg Sprave and his most dangerous toy in the world

Video here at The Slingshot Channel, where Joerg kills a "dirtbag". Ha Ha Ha Ha.

Happiness is 2007 Heisman Trophy winner Tim Tebow signing on with the New York METS' minor league team

Congratulations and best wishes to Tim Tebow!

From the story here:

NEW YORK (FOX5NY) - The New York Mets have signed former Heisman Trophy winner Tim Tebow to a minor league contract.  The team says he will head to the Instructional League in Florida.  He is set to report on Sept. 18th.

Tebow will get a $100,000 signing bonus according to a report by the Associated Press.

The Greeks taught us "nothing too much": Especially true when ingesting Scoville units

"British chef went temporarily DEAF after eating the world's hottest noodles" says the headline at the UK Mirror.

"Ben Sumadiwiria, 22, from London, scoffed a dish with 100 bird's eye chilis crushed together, giving it a Scoville rating of 20 million".

A single Jalapeno pepper ranges from 1,000 to 20,000 Scoville units compared with the bird's eye chili at 200,000.

Happiness is Bonne Maman Strawberry Preserves ... in the big mother 26 oz. jar!

Available at Sam's Club for $5.98!

Whoa!

Happiness is the Devil's chicken for dinner, with fennel parmesan and sweet baby peas

For the Pollo alla Diavola and the Finocchio alla Parmigiano see Michele Scicolone's 1,000 Italian Recipes.

The Devil's Dictionary definition of happiness

Ambrose Bierce

HAPPINESS, n. An agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another.

Aka:

Schadenfreude, in German;

 

ἐπιχαιρεκακία, in Greek.

 

Hi how-are-ya, Hi how-are-ya, Hi how-are-ya

Happiness is Hank Williams Jr. singing his 1985 hit "I'm For Love"

Here.

"Hey, I'm for love

I'm all for happiness

And I'm for 'Not looking for something to make us mad'

I'm all for turning off the news and turning down the lights

And I'm for nothing else but me and you tonight"

Obama's Soup

Mmm Mmm no good

Mmm Mmm no good

That's what Obama's Soup is

Mmm Mmm no good

Samuel Johnson insisted "Taxation no tyranny", now Italians claim pasta not fattening

From the story here:

Researchers in Italy studied over 23,000 people in Italy and found that higher pasta intake was not associated with a raised body mass index (BMI) – widely used as a measurement of a person's body fat, based on a person's height and weight – and waist-to-hip ratio.

Happiness is Michael Cimino saying "And I think the more you work, the better you are"

"I mean, when you think of the fact that Victor Fleming ... Victor Fleming made Gone With the Wind and The Wizard of Oz in the same year. Now today, between them it would take 30 years. It's ridiculous."

Michael Cimino, the Academy Award winning director of The Deer Hunter has passed away at the age of 77.

His tender tribute to Clint Eastwood who gave him the start in the business ("The Boss"/"I think Clint should be president") and John Wayne last year is here ( "I think both of them are very special. Two legends, two American legends, my God.").

May he rest in peace.