Sorry, but 2016 was pretty good!

• Politics kept EVERY day entertaining all year long, a downpayment on the entertainment which is sure to follow in 2017.
• The Denver Broncos won the Super Bowl. I still admire John Elway after all these years. An American original.
• I got a new dishwasher which actually washes the dishes clean on the first try, and still does.
• Somebody in my household got a full-time job for the first time in 8 YEARS, probably because . . .
• Obama is going bye-bye and it's finally looking safe to hire again on the periphery of the economy where we operate.
• The Chicago Cubs won the World Series. No, really, they did.
• Another person in my household found an interesting and promising career path.
• Lots of family visited, and gramps turned 90.
• And there was a wedding in the family. Imagine that. Now imagine babies. I don't care if they're Chinese.
• We won't have to wake up every day and hear Hillary promise "I won't do that again".
• And Chris Plante of WMAL in DC announced he will be syndicated in 2017. Best talk show out there, if you ask me. And also if you don't ask me. If talking is an art form, what he does is sort of analogous to pointillism, a mostly abandoned technique. A daily dose of smart invective hurled at WaPo and CNN, delivered with biting humor and panache. He subscribes and watches so you don't have to. AND IT'S FREE!
• Happy New Year everybody!

Happiness is Hormel Natural Choice bacon on sale for a Wednesday night pasta carbonara

This dish is very simple, sort of a post-war Italian bacon and eggs according to one theory.

1 pound De Cecco brand angel hair pasta

1 package Hormel bacon made into 1 inch lardons with a scissors

3 large brown eggs whisked in a really big pasta bowl

1 pepper grinder loaded with peppercorns

1/3 cup chopped Italian flat leaf parsley leaves

1 bowl grated Pecorino Romano cheese

Fry the bacon lardons in a deep dutch oven over medium heat, stirring constantly. Don't mess around. Just grab the whole bacon out of the package and start cutting it right into the pot. As it cooks the lardons will get away from you quickly at the end and get too brown if you aren't careful, but I like 'em that way, a little carbonized. Remove from the pot to drain on a paper towel.

Meanwhile bring a pasta pot of salted water to a boil.

Heat your pasta plates in a warm oven.

Whisk the eggs in the pasta bowl.

Chop the parsley.

Drink some wine.

When the water boils, add the pasta and boil about two minutes. Stir with a pasta fork into a ball in the water, then drain well and transfer to the pasta bowl with the whisked eggs while it's still steaming hot. Using two pasta forks stir the pasta and the eggs together thoroughly until the eggs have cooked, about a minute. Basically, the eggs will disappear when using angel hair because of all the surface area absorbing the cooked egg. Larger pasta shapes produce more visible cooked egg clinging to the sides.

Divide the pasta into the serving plates, top or stir in the parsley and bacon in each, and a little olive oil if you like.

Serves three easily. Pass the cheese and the pepper grinder. The pepper is essential, liberally applied. The cheese is optional.

Don't forget the red wine at the table, and a steamed vegetable like broccoli on the side.

Happiness is a Kreutzkamm Christstollen after church on Christmas Eve

For a good time don't call Tim Wilson in his Peterbilt prison

I was a truck-drivin', long-haulin', ladies man

My handle was the cream of the crop

'Til a brewhaha for a 40-D bra brought that to a screeching stop

My wife got wind of one of my girlfriends

whose brassier had the busted seams

And she changed my handle to henpecked

in a man-and-wife driving team

Here's the song.

Happiness is Fats Domino singing "Walking to New Orleans"

Here.

Happiness is the Rhumba Girl, Nicolette Larson, Rolling Stone's Female Vocalist of 1978

Sadly taken from us nineteen years ago this month. The amazing performance here dates to August 1977.

Happiness is Commander Cody singing "Daddy's Drinkin' Up Our Christmas"

Here.

Happiness is a 10-year old Honda CR-V all ready to go for another snowy winter in Grand Rapids

Our 2007 EX in Green Tea looks just like this one. It has Michelin X-Ice installed on all four paws, a new battery, an oil change, a wash, recalls on the air-bag inflators completed, and 127,000 miles going on 200,000 God-willing and the creek don't rise.

Oh yeah, and AAA Premier . . . just in case.

Uh oh: It's 100% grated, just not necessarily 100% CHEESE

Would you like some WOOD with that pasta?

From the story here last February, which is about when I started to wonder why I couldn't get my preferred Romano in block form anymore, only grated in bags:

Cellulose is a safe additive, and an acceptable level is 2 percent to 4 percent, according to Dean Sommer, a cheese technologist at the Center for Dairy Research in Madison, Wisconsin. Essential Everyday 100% Grated Parmesan Cheese, from Jewel-Osco, was 8.8 percent cellulose, while Wal-Mart Stores Inc.’s Great Value 100% Grated Parmesan Cheese registered 7.8 percent, according to test results. Whole Foods 365 brand didn’t list cellulose as an ingredient on the label, but still tested at 0.3 percent. Kraft had 3.8 percent. ... According to the FDA’s report on Castle, obtained through the Freedom of Information Act, “no parmesan cheese was used to manufacture” the Market Pantry brand 100% grated Parmesan Cheese, sold at Target Corp. stores, and Always Save Grated Parmesan Cheese and Best Choice 100% Grated Parmesan Cheese, sold by Associated Wholesale Grocers Inc., which along with its subsidiaries supplies 3,400 retail stores in 30 states. Instead, there was a mixture of Swiss, mozzarella, white cheddar and cellulose, according to the FDA.

Don't buy grated, folks. I don't care what the cheese is, just buy the block. It's easier to split than kindling.

Happiness is a 12-lb. Thanksgiving turkey for seven bucks at D&W Fresh Market

Gott sei dank! Thanks be to God!

Ours looked just like this, too, and was done in just three hours at 325 degrees F., because we never stuff our turkey. And was it ever delicious!

At the two hour mark we oiled the skin and baked it another half hour, then covered it with aluminum foil for another half hour.

The neck and gizzard were stewed separately for two hours, from which we made the giblet gravy.

Wunderbar!

The turkey was served with sautéed whole green beans baked for five minutes in the oven topped with french fried onions, and red garnet yams with butter and dark brown sugar.

A meal fit for a king, easily enjoyed by hoi polloi.

Happiness is one of these from Generac when the power goes out like tonight in Michigan

Here we go again: Very smart people become unhappy when socializing with friends

London School of Economics study, discussed here:

The study found that more intelligent people actually had lower life satisfaction the more frequently they socialised with friends - spending time with friends actually made them unhappy. But the researchers discovered that these highly intelligent participants actually spent more time socialising with friends. 

Which is why they are more likely to be mentally ill. The expectation that one socialize creates mental conflict, but because the expectation is perceived to be natural the conflict is multiplied because the intelligent person is fighting against "nature", resulting in illness.

As the old saying goes . . .

Happiness is the real Fats Domino on Twitter

Here.

Forget the expensive rice cooker, make easy peasy rice on the gas stovetop

Rinse 1 cup rice under running water using a fine mesh sieve, and allow to drain (I'm using Basmati from India these days).

Add rice to a 3qt. saucepan with a heavy lid.

Add two cups fresh water, 1/4 tsp. salt and a teaspoon of butter. Stir.

Bring mixture to a boil with the lid off.

Reduce heat to lowest setting, cover and simmer 20 minutes.

Fluff and serve with more butter, or Tamari sauce, or whatever.

Donald Trump's election means someone's finally going to deport my damn Chihuahua

Happiness is . . . Holy Cow! Cubs win! Cubs win! Cubs win!

A daily egg supposedly cuts stroke risk by 12% by reducing inflammation

So says a meta-analysis, which is not at all the same thing as a double-blind study. And, consider the source.

From the story here:

The research, published in the American College of Nutrition journal, was funded by the American Egg Board.

Now THIS is Hilarious: "I think my dog's a Democrat" by Bryan Lewis

Here.

It's not hilarious, it's only mildly amusing

Here.

Sorry, but sometimes it must be pointed out, if only to maintain standards.

Coffee edges closer to superfood status due to discovery of protective effects on eye health

From the story here:

He said participants who drank “high levels” of coffee – 78mg a day, the equivalent of one shot of espresso – were far less likely to suffer vision disease.