Man On Ledge Reluctantly Chooses Turkey Bacon Sandwich With Fries Over Suicide

Hey! Turkey and bacon works for me.

He wanted to live!

Story here:

An officer trained in crisis-intervention began talking to the man, who said he was hungry. Police then procured French fries and a turkey and bacon sandwich from the nearby Hotel deLuxe. The man apparently wasn't overwhelmed when presented with the sandwich. Hull said, “I think at one point he said he wanted a cheeseburger, but beggars can’t be choosers." Police were eventually able to convince the would-be jumper to walk away from the ledge and eat. 

Hatchet Jack's Last Will And Testament: Best Ever Non-Speaking Part In A Movie?

"I, Hatchet Jack, being of sound mind and broke legs, do leaveth my rifle to the next thing who finds it, Lord hope he be a white man. It is a good rifle, and kilt the bear that kilt me. Anyway, I am dead. Sincerley, Hatchet Jack."

-- Jeremiah Johnson, 1972

Anton Ego Is Dead: Peter O'Toole's Alter (1932-2013)

Interesting insight from film critic Robbie Collin, here:

One of my own favourites came in a film in which we never saw him: the Pixar animation Ratatouille, in which he played Anton Ego, a seemingly unpleasable food critic whose heart is finally melted by a perfectly prepared portion of the French dish.

“The world is often unkind to new talent; new creations,” he says in the film’s closing scenes. “The new needs friends. Last night, I experienced something new: an extraordinary meal from a singularly unexpected source.”

I’ll admit I shed a tear when I first heard O’Toole speak those lines, and yet the words are delivered with such simplicity you can scarcely detect a scrap of the actor’s craft in them. What’s the trick? Acknowledging each emotion without sinking into it. Navigating the script like a seasoned traveller. And above all, not minding that it hurts.

If You Are From Wisconsin, This Is Hamburger Weather

It's colder where I am tonight in Michigan than where I grew up in Wisconsin, but only by 1 degree F. But it didn't stop me from making a charcoal fire and grilling up some delicious hamburgers for supper. It just takes longer for the coals to reach optimum gray and red, about forty minutes instead of twenty.

I served the hamburgers with melted sharp cheddar cheese (what else?) and some ketchup on nice white hamburger buns, with steamed petite peas and green beans in butter on the side.

With a glass of red wine, wunderbar darling! 

Si Robertson: "There's 20 million people in the world. And I'm supposed to know about one?"

Si Robertson goes a little si-cho about not knowing who Clint Bowyer is in "Drag Me To Glory", Episode 12, Season 2, November 28, 2012 broadcast of Duck Dynasty.

That's funny, Jack!

"I lost my ba-lance"

"Well go find it!"

(see it here)

Unclog A Drain Cheap, Easy And Home-Made

Here's another one I've seen online in several places which I decided to try after wasting money on expensive drain opening products. I'm not sure why it works so well, but it does. Perhaps the rapid expansion combined with the acidity is the explanation. If your problem is something other than hair and soap scum I can't say it will work, but this preparation got rid of two slow tub/shower drains for me, cutting right through the gunk just like that. No more toes soaking in a puddle!

Drain Opener

1 cup baking soda

1 cup white vinegar

Remove whatever cover/plug is over your drain. Spoon in 1 cup of baking soda, and dump the excess over the hole. Cover with an inverted Pyrex 2-cup measuring cup. Slowly pour 1 cup vinegar into the hole, slightly lifting one edge of the Pyrex by the handle as you do. It'll bubble up all over the place, but it will drain back down, so don't pause. Let stand at least thirty minutes and flush with a liberal amount of hot water.

Clean Your Shower And Tub Cheap, Easy And Home-Made

This is all over the place online if you look for it. I decided to try it and it worked great for me. Just spray it on liberally, leave it on for 15 minutes or so, then rub it all around with a damp rope mop to get into any rounded spaces. Rinse thoroughly and you are done! My shower has never been cleaner. It's amazing!

Shower Cleaner Recipe

Equal parts Dawn Ultra dishwashing liquid and warm vinegar in an empty spray bottle. Three ounces each is enough for one tub and shower combination, walls and all. Add the Dawn first, then the warm vinegar. Shake a little and you are ready to ROCK A LOT!

It's the clinging action of the soap which keeps the vinegar on the verticals which does the trick. If your shower is particularly nasty, you can skimp just a little on the vinegar to increase the clinging action of more soap in the mixture.

Whaddaya Mean You're Outta Shrimp? Shrimp Prices Skyrocket, Lobster Prices Plummet.

They were all out of Lake Perch last night at the local Michigan restaurant we frequent, so we ordered the shrimp instead, only to find out they didn't have any shrimp either! Disease has ravaged key shrimp farms in Asia, reducing supplies, while warmer Atlantic waters have dramatically boosted lobster populations.

CNN Money reports here:

Shrimp prices are skyrocketing to all-time highs, amid a disease that's plaguing the three largest prawn producers: Thailand, China and Vietnam. White shrimp prices are nearing $6 a pound, up 56% from a year ago, according to an Urner Barry index. ... As of August, the average 4 oz. lobster tail cost $13.25, according to Urner Barry. That still costs more than 2 pounds of shrimp, but it's the lowest price in 11 years, as warmer water and fewer predators have led to an abundant supply of lobsters.

"The Personal Life Is Dead . . ."

"The personal life is dead in Russia. History killed it."

See "Strelnikov" say it, here.

Dr. Zhivago (1965)

And it's nearly dead in The United Surveillance States Of America as well.

Bunny Has Left The Building

Well, the bunny has just left the building. I swear he grew an inch taller overnight even though he didn't touch the carrot and lettuce we left out for him right next to the piano before we went to bed.

I slept on the couch last night in the hope that I'd wake up and catch the little fellow trying to get out where he came in, but no such luck.

I woke up about 2:45 this morning and evidently while I slept bunny had decided to leave the confines of the piano and drop some turds in the dining room and pee in the corner. The cats came up from the basement about 5 and went out, but not before Pal's nose clued me in to the present on the tile in the corner. So even though I was awake and heard some clunks in the piano around 4 I was disappointed in my silent watch. Just as well. They are almost impossible to catch with three sets of bare hands, let alone one.

So after making some inquiries this morning I had resolved to line the bottom of the piano with fresh cut onions by removing the access panel above the pedals, but when my son decided to begin his piano practice he discovered that bunny had already come out of his own accord, and was behind it again. I guess enduring one more practice session was just too much to ask of bunny, and no, my son is not practicing Prokofiev at present. 

We prodded him with a long stick once again and bunny decided to head to the breakfast nook, by-passing once again (!) the wide open front door. But eventually we coaxed him back there, and though he stopped short of exiting, a gentle push with a shirt had him tumbling out and finally off the stairs to ground.

Just another day in paradise.

Good luck little bunny. You are a hail fellow well met, or something.

The Day of the Bunny

Pal Kitty showed up at the patio door this morning about 8:30 carrying one of these in his mouth. I think it's his first real bunny. He's kind of lazy about hunting, letting his sister do all the work, so it was kind of a surprise.

Well, on examination through the glass I could see he hadn't really hurt it, and as I cracked the door open he put it down in front of me, all proud like, when the bunny took off across the deck looking to escape.

Just one problem. There is no stair to the deck, just a couple of narrow boards for cat ramps in two different places. As I tried to separate bunny and kitty, who had decided the chase was on again, bunny decided . . . to head into the house through the patio door, which I had, of course, absent-mindedly left open.

And off bunny went, behind the couch toward the stairs to the second floor, then out of the corner of my eye back out again on the other side and . . . where? Down the basement stair, or into the dining room?

Having searched the latter I concluded bunny must have headed to ground, as they say. And I've spent the better part of the day looking for bunny in the nether regions of my basement, cleaning up some boxes and packing material for the recyclers tomorrow while I'm at it, doing some vacuuming and discovering that bunny could be just about anywhere in view of all the boxes with stuff in them still piled everywhere after moving into this place over five years ago. I eventually took a break for a late lunch around 2:00 and had a coffee and a quiet sit down on the couch to read for a while, when out of the corner of my eye I caught the sight of bunny. It was being quiet which did the trick.

Bunny decided to head for the patio door, which I managed to open for her, moving ever so slowly behind her and to her left, but she wouldn't go for the opening. Instead, she headed . . . back for the dining room.

But where? Well, a look behind the piano showed she was back there between it and the wall. So, this is where she had been all day.

Well, we opened all the doors, to the front (nearest the piano) with a clear line of sight to the open patio door to the deck in the back the other direction, and also the service door to the garage, in case she'd want to leave that way. Well, to make a long story short, bunny avoided front door, ran toward service door and hid behind the washer, and finally escaped through the arms and legs of the three of us back to the safety of . . . the piano. But this time, she's crawled up inside the frame just out of reach, where she must have gone the first time in the morning where I couldn't see her.

I've been waiting quietly for bunny to come out now for about an hour and a half, but there's nothing happening . . . kind of like the whole day, the day of the bunny.

You are here :)

Earth from Saturn as viewed by Cassini

"Hot Child In The City" (1978)

See him sing it, here.

"Yes. Yes, this is a better arrangement, comrades . . . more just."

Comrade Kaprugina to Yuri:

"There was living space for thirteen families in this one house." 

Yuri:

"Yes. Yes, this is a better arrangement, comrades . . . more just."

See him say it, here.

"Doctor Zhivago" (1965)

The Girls Sing "Curly's A Dope" But These Days All I Hear Is "Obama's A Jerk"

See them sing it, here, from "Violent Is The Word For Curly" (1938).

I was under the impression, Herr Obama, that the contents of telegrams in Austria are private! At least, the Austria I know.

Herr Zeller:

"You never answered the telegram . . . from the Admiral of the Navy of the Third Reich." 

Captain von Trapp:

"I was under the impression, Herr Zeller . . . that the contents of telegrams in Austria are private!  At least, the Austria I know."

(The Sound of Music, 1965) 

Italian Tomato Press Still Available From Williams-Sonoma

You can still get a press just like I use from Williams-Sonoma.

The price is higher now than when I bought one years ago. I think I paid $25 on sale. So I'm guessing it used to be $29.95 instead of $39.95 now.

I can't recommend one enough if you like fresh tomato sauce as much as I do.

This tool just makes it so easy, as long as you have a large smooth counter top to work on and which you can dampen to make the suction cup grip properly.

You'll also need a large, flat and shallow-rimmed plate-like bowl or server to catch the sauce on the left side, and something like a big latte bowl to catch the pulp in the front.

Wear an apron!  

Easiest Way Ever To Make Fresh Tomato Sauce From Romas

This is the easiest way ever to make fresh tomato sauce from Roma tomatoes:

• Harvest your tomatoes when ripe, wash them carefully and dry them thoroughly.
• Drop the Romas into gallon-size freezer bags, whole. Believe me, you don't have to process your harvest any more than this. And when you have bushels and bushels of Romas to deal with, you'll understand what I'm talking about. You'll keep more of your harvest this way when you can't keep up using the traditional ways of making sauce and freezing, or canning.
• Freeze the tomatoes until you are ready to make sauce. I'm down to my last bag from last year:(
• Freezing naturally "cooks" the tomatoes so that skins and seeds easily separate in the press.
• Thaw a bag of Romas in a large roasting pan on the counter, starting in the morning.
• When thawed after lunch, slice each with a serrated knife and allow the water to drain out during the afternoon.
• Make the sauce before dinner, lifting the tomatoes out of the pan where their water has drained out and placing them into the tomato press.
• After making the sauce from the press, simmer the sauce on the stove in a large sauce pan until heated through while you make the pasta and sausages.
• Reserve any unused sauce in freezable containers.
• Drink the tomato water after straining, over ice with vodka, or add it to your next soup.

h/t Dorothy

We Are Never Happy

"Happiness never lays its finger on its pulse. If we attempt to steal a glimpse of its features it disappears. It is a gleam of unreckoned gold. From the nature of the case, our happiness, such as in its degree it has been, lives in memory. We have not the voice itself; we have only its echo. We are never happy; we can only remember that we were so once."

-- Alexander Smith, "Of Death and the Fear of Dying" in Dreamthorp: A Book of Essays Written in the Country (Edinburgh, 1888), p. 60.

Homemakers Are Still Basically Worth $60K

scrubbin' for the very first time, like a . . .

Yeah right. Tell that to the banker on the mortgage refi application and see how far you get.

Story here, if you can believe it.

In Competent Hands: An American Tradition Since At Least 1936

Curly: Soitently! We're all incompetent.

See him say it here.

"Don't Forget To Feed The Chickens, Huh?"

-- Telly Savalas to Pier Angeli in "The Battle of the Bulge" (1965)

See him say it, here. (Fixed the link 4/21/19).

Down the mountain slick as glass . . .

Ogden Nash, of the Nash-ville family

As remembered by me from P. Allen:

"Down the mountain

slick as glass

came the billy-goat

ridin' on his overcoat."

And as attributed to Ogden Nash:

"Spring has newly sprung

the hills are full of grass

and along comes a billy-goat

sliding on his overcoat

down the summer pass".

Happiness is Telly Savalas As Pontius Pilate: Get Out!

Roman soldier: And that isn't all.

Pilate: And what else?

Roman soldier: He . . . walked . . . on water.

Pilate: Get out!

"The Greatest Story Ever Told" (1965)

T-Bone Tuesday

It's cold and blustery outside, but I fired up the charcoal anyway and grilled a single 1.3 pound Angus T-Bone. Wind has been in the 25mph range most of the day, and temps in the low to mid 20s. Just like Wisconsin when I was a boy.

I picked up three of these T-Bones for about $8.50 each last week and put two in the freezer. You defrost one all day in the frig until grilling time, and grill over hot coals in a covered grill about 6 minutes on a side for medium rare. It served three of us, with some Jasmine rice and steamed green beans on the side, for well less than $4 per person. The bone will simmer on the stove tomorrow to make some beef stock for soup. Maybe beef and barley with mushroom.

Steak. It's what's for dinner during Protestant Lent.

"No! Not Like That You Namby-Pamby!"

-- Roderick Spode, "Trouble At Totleigh Towers", Jeeves and Wooster,  video here, transcript here.

Happiness is The Missouri Boat Ride from The Outlaw Josey Wales

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jamie: They comin'. 

Carpetbagger: Do you really think you can shoot all those men down before they shoot you? No, no, Mr. Josey Wales; there is such a thing in this country called justice!

Josey Wales: Well, Mr. Carpetbagger. We got somethin' in this territory called the Missouri boat ride. 

The Meaning of Life, From a Movie

"And when I run I feel His pleasure."

-- Eric Liddell, Chariots of Fire, 1981

Yo Quiero Horsey Taco?

Uh oh. There's somethin' funny goin' on here, Lucy.

Story here.

The Swedish Chef Weighs In On The Ikea Meatball Flap

"So, de beency bouncy burger is a horsey, eh?"

"The Woods Are Lovely, Dark And Deep"

Swedish Meatballs At Ikea Found To Contain Horse Meat, Chef Issues Statement

According to the Borkified story from The Associated Press, here:

"Swedish foornitoore-a gioont Ikea wes droon into Ioorope-a's widening food lebeling scoondel Mondey is uoothorities seid zeey hed detected horse-a meet in frozee-a meetbells lebeled is beeff und pork und sold in 13 cooontries icross zee-a continent. Bork Bork Bork!"

The Swedish Chef was unavailable for comment but said through a spokesman:

"Whee-a I meke-a Swedish meetbells, I ilweys teke-a cere-a to idd a little-a ixtra horsemeet to zee-a mixtoore-a oon speciel ooccesions like-a zee-a Kentoocky Derby. Bork Bork Bork! Meetbells wit 25% horse-a meet reelly get iferyone-a in zee-a proper mood for zee-a rece-a, und iferyone-a who hes tried zeem lofes zeem so mooch zeey ilweys isk zee-a next yeer for my Swedish Qooerter Horse-a Meetbells by neme-a! Horse Horse Horse!"

(video here)

Quarter-Horse Burgers: 25% Less Beef Than Our Regular Brand!

"The sample of one brand . . . was more than a quarter horse", says the story here:

The scandal began in Ireland in mid-January when the country . . . announced the results of its first-ever DNA tests on beef products. It tested frozen beef burgers taken from store shelves and found that more than a third of brands at five supermarkets contained at least a trace of horse. The sample of one brand sold by British supermarket kingpin Tesco was more than a quarter horse.

My Current Super Foods Menu

Monday--Burritos (homemade pinto beans, onions, and saved bacon fat from uncured bacon, ground turkey, homemade Mexican seasonings, in an Azteca brand flour tortilla with extra sharp cheddar cheese and fresh toppings including homemade guacamole, black olives, salsa, green onion and chopped spinach)

Tuesday--Basil Pesto Sockeye Pie (canned wild sockeye salmon, eggs, homegrown tomato sauce, homemade basil pesto sauce, rolled oats) with a green salad of romaine lettuce and spinach with a lemon-evoo dressing

Wednesday--Italian pasta with homemade hot Italian turkey sausage, homemade tomato sauce, grated Pecorino Romano cheese and steamed green beans or baby broccoli or a romaine-spinach salad

Thursday--One of two flexible nights in the week like Sunday, but often curry night, usually leftover poultry, butter, garlic, Penzeys curry powder, canned coconut milk, flaked coconut, dried cranberries, diced Fuji apples and chopped almonds served over Jasmine rice with a salad on the side, or Italian meatloaf made with ground turkey, rapini and seasonings, or baked chicken with rice and broccoli

Friday--Filet of something from the sea, these days baked skin-on steelhead trout with lemon pepper, Jasmine rice and a steamed vegetable like baby broccoli or green beans, or a curried salmon-rice cake with a fruit sauce, or sockeye pie leftovers

Saturday--Napoli style pizza baked in cast iron with homemade basil pesto sauce, homemade tomato sauce, mozzarella, and fresh roma tomato slices, with a fresh salad

Sunday--Charcoal Grill Day: usually hamburgers ground at home from a single piece of Angus chuck served with all the toppings desired on a potato bun and steamed green petite peas with butter, otherwise grilled marinated Otto's chicken (locally grown) with red potatoes baked in the oven, or a stir fry in the wok, or pasta carbonara

Luncheon is usually a homemade barley-lentil soup using homemade chicken broth with some homemade buttered toast, or leftovers like a burrito, and an apple on the side with a square of 70% cocoa chocolate to finish, or a can of Norwegian bristling sardines on rye crackers with a fresh pear

Breakfast is usually stove-top espresso with 2% milk steamed, a hardboiled egg or a fried egg with toast and jam, and a fresh orange, or a blueberry-banana smoothie with homemade yogurt, coconut milk, cinnamon and ground flaxseed meal, or whole oatmeal with berries and walnuts

Wine, especially on Wednesdays and Saturdays.

Purists will revolt as purists do, but life is for the enjoying.

I reckon so: Sometimes happiness is paying later

Granny Hawkins: "You can pay me when you see me again, Josey Wales." 

"Don't Piss Down My Back And Tell Me It's Rainin'"

Fletcher in The Outlaw Josey Wales, 1976. Here.