Now THIS is Hilarious: "I think my dog's a Democrat" by Bryan Lewis

Here.

It's not hilarious, it's only mildly amusing

Here.

Sorry, but sometimes it must be pointed out, if only to maintain standards.

Coffee edges closer to superfood status due to discovery of protective effects on eye health

From the story here:

He said participants who drank “high levels” of coffee – 78mg a day, the equivalent of one shot of espresso – were far less likely to suffer vision disease. 

Happiness is the Ukulele Orchestra of Great Britain playing Ennio Morricone's The Good, The Bad and the Ugly theme

Here.

Schadenfreude is learning that a Koch-bro had a wine cellar full of fakes not worth the millions of dollars he paid for them

Drink what you like, just make sure you don't pay too much for it.

From the story here:

Even more tenacious is the billionaire Bill Koch, the brother of Charles and David, who’s discovered that his wine cellar—a chandeliered wonder in his Palm Beach mansion—contains more than four million dollars in fakes. In his efforts to track down Kurniawan, Koch spends many millions of dollars soliciting cork experts, label gurus, former C.I.A. agents, and private investigators. ... The schadenfreude in seeing these entitled rich men get duped is compounded, in “Sour Grapes,” by the obvious pleasure the filmmakers take in exposing the broader illusions in the rarified world of wine. Very old bottles of the sort that Kurniawan faked are so few and far between—and often so inconsistent from one to the next—that few connoisseurs know exactly how they’re meant to taste.

Happiness is watching this guy play Beethoven with semi-automatic pistols

Here.