The Swedish Chef Weighs In On The Ikea Meatball Flap

"So, de beency bouncy burger is a horsey, eh?"

"The Woods Are Lovely, Dark And Deep"

Swedish Meatballs At Ikea Found To Contain Horse Meat, Chef Issues Statement

According to the Borkified story from The Associated Press, here:

"Swedish foornitoore-a gioont Ikea wes droon into Ioorope-a's widening food lebeling scoondel Mondey is uoothorities seid zeey hed detected horse-a meet in frozee-a meetbells lebeled is beeff und pork und sold in 13 cooontries icross zee-a continent. Bork Bork Bork!"

The Swedish Chef was unavailable for comment but said through a spokesman:

"Whee-a I meke-a Swedish meetbells, I ilweys teke-a cere-a to idd a little-a ixtra horsemeet to zee-a mixtoore-a oon speciel ooccesions like-a zee-a Kentoocky Derby. Bork Bork Bork! Meetbells wit 25% horse-a meet reelly get iferyone-a in zee-a proper mood for zee-a rece-a, und iferyone-a who hes tried zeem lofes zeem so mooch zeey ilweys isk zee-a next yeer for my Swedish Qooerter Horse-a Meetbells by neme-a! Horse Horse Horse!"

(video here)

Quarter-Horse Burgers: 25% Less Beef Than Our Regular Brand!

"The sample of one brand . . . was more than a quarter horse", says the story here:

The scandal began in Ireland in mid-January when the country . . . announced the results of its first-ever DNA tests on beef products. It tested frozen beef burgers taken from store shelves and found that more than a third of brands at five supermarkets contained at least a trace of horse. The sample of one brand sold by British supermarket kingpin Tesco was more than a quarter horse.

My Current Super Foods Menu

Monday--Burritos (homemade pinto beans, onions, and saved bacon fat from uncured bacon, ground turkey, homemade Mexican seasonings, in an Azteca brand flour tortilla with extra sharp cheddar cheese and fresh toppings including homemade guacamole, black olives, salsa, green onion and chopped spinach)

Tuesday--Basil Pesto Sockeye Pie (canned wild sockeye salmon, eggs, homegrown tomato sauce, homemade basil pesto sauce, rolled oats) with a green salad of romaine lettuce and spinach with a lemon-evoo dressing

Wednesday--Italian pasta with homemade hot Italian turkey sausage, homemade tomato sauce, grated Pecorino Romano cheese and steamed green beans or baby broccoli or a romaine-spinach salad

Thursday--One of two flexible nights in the week like Sunday, but often curry night, usually leftover poultry, butter, garlic, Penzeys curry powder, canned coconut milk, flaked coconut, dried cranberries, diced Fuji apples and chopped almonds served over Jasmine rice with a salad on the side, or Italian meatloaf made with ground turkey, rapini and seasonings, or baked chicken with rice and broccoli

Friday--Filet of something from the sea, these days baked skin-on steelhead trout with lemon pepper, Jasmine rice and a steamed vegetable like baby broccoli or green beans, or a curried salmon-rice cake with a fruit sauce, or sockeye pie leftovers

Saturday--Napoli style pizza baked in cast iron with homemade basil pesto sauce, homemade tomato sauce, mozzarella, and fresh roma tomato slices, with a fresh salad

Sunday--Charcoal Grill Day: usually hamburgers ground at home from a single piece of Angus chuck served with all the toppings desired on a potato bun and steamed green petite peas with butter, otherwise grilled marinated Otto's chicken (locally grown) with red potatoes baked in the oven, or a stir fry in the wok, or pasta carbonara

Luncheon is usually a homemade barley-lentil soup using homemade chicken broth with some homemade buttered toast, or leftovers like a burrito, and an apple on the side with a square of 70% cocoa chocolate to finish, or a can of Norwegian bristling sardines on rye crackers with a fresh pear

Breakfast is usually stove-top espresso with 2% milk steamed, a hardboiled egg or a fried egg with toast and jam, and a fresh orange, or a blueberry-banana smoothie with homemade yogurt, coconut milk, cinnamon and ground flaxseed meal, or whole oatmeal with berries and walnuts

Wine, especially on Wednesdays and Saturdays.

Purists will revolt as purists do, but life is for the enjoying.