Tuesday, April 26, 2011

"I Sees The End What Were The Start"

This ain't one body's story.
It's the story of us all.
We got it mouth-to-mouth.
You got to listen it and 'member.
'Cause what you hears today
you got to tell the birthed tomorrow.

I'm looking behind us now. . .
. . .across the count of time. . .
 . . .down the long haul,
into history back.
I sees the end what were the start.
It's Pox-Eclipse, full of pain!
And out of it were birthed
crackling dust and fearsome time.
It were full-on winter. . .
. . .and Mr. Dead chasing them all.
But one he couldn't catch.
That were Captain Walker.
He gathers up a gang, takes to the air
and flies to the sky!
So they left their homes,
said bidey-bye to the high-scrapers. . .
. . .and what were left of the knowing,
they left behind.
Some say the wind just stoppered.
Others reckon it were a gang
called Turbulence.
And after the wreck. . .
. . .some had been jumped by Mr. Dead. . .
. . .but some had got the luck,
and it leads them here.
One look and they's got the hots for it.
They word it "Planet Earth. "
And they says, "We don't need
the knowing. We can live here. "
"We don't need the knowing.
We can live here. "
Time counts and keeps counting.
They gets missing what they had.
They get so lonely for the
high-scrapers and the video.
And they does the pictures so they'd
'member all the knowing that they lost.
'Member this?
Tomorrow-morrow Land!
'Member this?
The River of Light!
'Member this?
Skyraft!
'Member this?
Captain Walker!
'Member this?
Mrs. Walker!
Then Captain Walker picked them
of an age and good for a long haul.
They counted twenty, and that were them.
The great leaving.
"Rescue party departed
at first light. . .
. . .led by Flight Captain G.L. Walker. "
"May God have mercy on our souls. "
They said bidey-bye to them
what they'd birthed.
And from the nothing
they looked back. . .
. . .and Captain Walker hollered,
"Wait, one of us will come. "
"Wait, one of us will come. "
And somebody did come.
Walker!
We's heartful to you,
Captain Walker.
We's ready now. Take us home.
We kept it straight!
Everything marked, everything 'membered!

You kept it real good.
You ain't been slack.

-Why are we waiting?

-That ain't me.
-You got the wrong guy.

-Quit joshing!
-Catch the wind.
-We got to see Tomorrow-morrow Land!
Home! Tomorrow-morrow Land!
There were places like these.
Cities.
They were called cities.
They had lots of knowing.
They had skyscrapers. . .
. . .videos and they had the sonic.
Then this happened.
This Pox-Eclipse happened, and it's
finished. It isn't there anymore.

-- Mad Max 3

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Weird Al Parody of Lady Gaga: I'm Really Not Insane, I Just Perform This Way

















Video here. Controversy here.

Weird Al's lyrics, perhaps the pinnacle of his career, expressing the Olympian height of his powers:

My mama told me when I was hatched
Act like a superstar
Save your allowance, buy a bubble dress
And someday you will go far

Now on red carpets, well, I'm hard to miss
The press follows everywhere I go
I'll poke your eye out with a dress like this . . .
Back off and enjoy the show!

I'm sure my critics will say it's a grotesque display
Well, they can bite me, baby, I perform this way
I might be wearin' Swiss cheese or maybe covered with bees
It doesn't mean I'm crazy - I perform this way

Ooh, my little monsters pay . . . lots 'cause I perform this way
Baby, I perform this way

Ooh, don't worry, I'm okay . . . Hey, I just perform this way
I'm not crazy, I perform this way

I'll be a troll or evil queen
I'll be a human jelly bean
'Cause every day is Halloween
For me . . .

I'm so completely original
My new look is all the rage
I'll wrap my small intestines 'round my neck
And set fire to myself on stage

I'll wear a porcupine on my head
On a W - H - I - M
And for no reason now I'll sing in French
Excusez-moi, Qui a pete?

Got my straight jacket today, it's made of gold lame
No, not because I'm crazy - I perform this way
I strap prime rib to my feet, cover myself with raw meat
I'll bet you've never seen a skirt steak worn this way

Don't be offended when you see
My latest pop monstrosity
I'm strange, weird, shocking, odd, bizarre
I'm Frankenstein, I'm Avatar
That's nothing too embarrassing
I'll honestly do anything
But wear white after Labor Day
'Cause baby, I perform this way!

Hope you won't think it's cliche if I go nude today
Don't call the cops now, baby - I perform this way
No reason I should regret all the attention I get
I'm not completely crazy, I perform this way, yeah

I perform this way - hey,
I perform this way - hey . . .
I'm always deviating from the norm this way - hey
I perform this way - hey,
I perform this way - hey . . .
I'm really not insane,
I just perform this way - hey

















Video from the Grammy Awards.



Positive Waves!

"Kelly's Heroes"

"Crazy. I mean, so many positive waves,
maybe we can't lose. You're on."

-- Oddball

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

The Bedford Incident



This is insane!

Captain Finlander

Now don't worry, Commodore. The Bedford'll never fire first. But if he fires one, I'll fire one.

Ensign Ralston

Fire One! 

Monday, April 4, 2011

Analyze This


                                 VITTI
                   You know, Doc, I don't think I
                   ever thanked you properly for
                   curing me.

                                 BEN
                   We don't say 'cured.' We say you
                   had a 'corrective emotional
                   experience.'

                                 VITTI
                   You, you, you're very good.

                                  BEN
                           (pointing)
                   No.   You. You.